"You're not a mom right now...you're the partner" - this was just one of the comments I received from a friend shortly after my partner gave birth to our son in March of this year. Hmmm...really?? I was kind of shocked to hear this from a close friend of my wife's, whom I had come to know and love, after all, if she thought this, would other people go there too?
Being the non-biological mother is a test. At least it feels like one on a daily basis. I am proving my ability everytime I pick Eamon up. Is there something different about how I hold him? How I feed him? How I change him? Will people notice or think I am not natural with him? Is it obvious that there is no blood connection to link me to my son? The paranoia sets in...
We take Eamon out with us a lot and I am adament that I be the one to hold him/push him/carry him. I think it's my way of staking a claim to him. A way of saying "This is my child! I have just as strong a connection with him as the woman who gave birth to him!". I am incredibly lucky that my wonderful wife, Ann is ok with this - she encourages me to tell her my feelings, to be open and honest - to feel free and able to be Eamon's mom in my own way.
Yes, I am the other mother. The non-biological mother. I am Eamon's mother.
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